


what would my head be like if not for my shoulders (or without your smile)

by starssshine



Series: adashi oneshots [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Gay Shiro (Voltron), I Will Go Down With This Ship, Love Poems, M/M, Shadam, adashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 05:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15382185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starssshine/pseuds/starssshine
Summary: your eyes are stunning— did you know how much i love your eyes?— they shine and sparkle but are quiet and inviting at the same time. they are brown, a color many people call the most boring, but you give a whole new meaning to it. they are golden and red and dusty and trees depending on outfits and the sun and the stars that you constantly look up towards. they are gorgeous, and i make sure to tell you again and again and again.or, Adam writes Shiro a poem.





	what would my head be like if not for my shoulders (or without your smile)

**Author's Note:**

> god i already ship this so much someone stop me i already have two (2) other adashi fics in the works  
> title from C'mon by Panic! At The Disco and fun.

for takashi

your eyes are stunning— did you know how much i love your eyes?— they shine and sparkle but are quiet and inviting at the same time. they are brown, a color many people call the most boring, but you give a whole new meaning to it. they are golden and red and dusty and trees depending on outfits and the sun and the stars that you constantly look up towards. they are gorgeous, and i make sure to tell you again and again and again.

 

your hair is several shades darker than mine, a deep black the color of the night sky. it puffs out at the end (it’s against the garrison rules but the teachers would never deny their golden boy anything he wanted) (it’s also great to run your fingers through while curled up together on a couch after classes are over). it’s beautiful and i make sure to tell you again and again and again.

 

your personality is ever changing, ever moving, ever crashing— sometimes sweet and sometimes quiet and sometimes destructive and sometimes terrified. it’s like the ocean, and i never know what day it might be when you roll out of bed. there are times when the world stops spinning and lets us do whatever we want, whenever we want, and your smile shines brighter than the sun. and there are days when you can’t move your arm, days you can’t get out of bed due to pain. and i am there for all of it, and i tell you that you are okay and that you will make it again and again and again.

 

your personality contradicts mine— i am content to stay with feet planted on the ground and i am content to make a family and love and maybe even adopt children. but you? you never stopped reaching, desperately lunging for the bright freckles that dot the evening heavens. and you beg, you plead for me to allow you to go, you cry that this is your last chance and you will never be able to do this again and i am done. i love you, i love you, i love you and you go and throw your life away. and i cry but i let you go, i let you leave and go to space and then you never come back. and i whisper silent apologies to the sky again and again and again.

 

year after year and nothing but screaming silence, nothing but hushed shouts and muted curses aimed to whatever higher power had caused  _ this. _ i know that you are there, i know you wouldn’t die that easily but with every day, every minute, every second that passes without a sign a bit of faith goes down the drain with the rest of the tears i never shed. and when i hear you came back for an hour at most and then you were gone again, i watch the tapes and they show a man with a prosthetic arm and a white forelock and a scar across his nose and a man who raves about aliens and i mourn, i mourn for the man i used to know and i hope, i wish, i pray that maybe he can be returned to me safe and sound and maybe he could forgive me for what i’ve done. i shout at the stars, begging them to bring you home again and again and again.

 

life continues and i try to get over you, i try to make a new life with no pilots, no men who valued their dream over everything else, no strong quiet men who i smile at like they are the most beautiful thing in the universe and i fail, fail, fail. no one can ever compare, no one can ever be the person i love because how could i love anyone who isn’t you? how could i love anyone who is anything less than constellations sewed, knotted together to make a man? i give up and i decided to look instead, i look around for clues and find families, families of  _ children  _ who have disappeared just like you and i help them, i tell them all i know and i tell them my story again and again and again.

 

and you’re home but not in one piece. your hair is white and your arm is gone and forget the scar on your nose, scrapes and cuts and long, jagged, white lines cover your body. i look at you from a distance, stuck to the ground like my feet are glued down and your eyes meet mine and suddenly the world stops. people stop talking and everyone freezes but you and me and i break and run to you with tears running down my face and you aren’t much better but we are together and what else matters? and maybe everything goes back together while i inhale your smell, take in your face, embrace your body, absorb your very  _ being  _ because suddenly there are people surrounding you, asking question after question about me and i can’t help but ignore then and kiss you once, twice, again and again and again.

 

you are broken in more ways than one, not just your body but your very soul is crying out in pain every day, so i wrap the wounds and i kiss the scars and i talk and talk and talk until you smile again. i get your story in bits and pieces and everything i hear makes me remember how i left you and how i let you go into space, trying to pretend like i didn’t care if you were gone. and i apologize again and again and again.

 

and you look at me and cup my chin and kiss me for what seems like the millionth time and you smile.

 

i can’t help but smile back, again and again and again.

**Author's Note:**

> *cries in distressed gay* I Love My Boys  
> thanks for reading!  
> -rosey


End file.
